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Realized my mind is an enigma at this point.
One side is overly serious and angry sometimes.
The other is goofy and chill.

I lean to one the other is weakened.
I keep talking to myself and cannot decide on an answer for why I'm like this.
Is it because I finally know the feeling of being heard of when I was quiet for the majority of my life?

Or is it because I was too weak to muster up the courage to take both the action and consequences of my thoughts?

Can civilization truly evolve/progress without conflict?
Do we fight among ourselves cause we long for a purpose to give us a reason to live?

Am I truly myself when I hide behind the veil on what the internet offers?
Or am I just a coward that wants to find an escape the harshness that is reality?

All of this leads me to the same answer that I've always keep on going to whenever I met with these questions.

"I don't know".
As sometimes in life we won't have the answers for everything.
As everything exists for a reason but nothing really has a definitive answer.
As nothing is what we precieve to be true by a general consensus by people who majority agree on what is true based on the facts that is around us.

These thoughts linger in my mind from time to time whenever i'm confronted by the thought of why we exist to simply disappear.

We came from nothingness and will return to nothingness.

...Don't tell me to go to church cause believe me all it did was gave me more questions than answers.

Cause I know who I am. But in reality. i don't know what I am.
Cause to understand yourself you must challenge yourself for that purpose.

I wouldn't be surprised if people think when i'm being serious i'm not serious and when i'm not serious i'm being serious.

The internet is both a beautiful and horrible thing.
Yet despite the purpose of connection and having many opportunities to do so.

I still haven't found it.
As I lack the courage to take that first step to open that door to walk away from the blight of yesterday that forever is shackled onto me ever growing in weight and rarely ceases to lighten itself.

Or maybe i'm just lazy.

I wonder if anyone even knows what i'm talking about.
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引用自 OmegaBilly1
I wonder if anyone even knows what i'm talking about
do you?
AN 6.63

“‘Suffering should be known. The cause of suffering should be known. The diversity in suffering should be known. The result of suffering should be known. The cessation of suffering should be known. The path of practice for the cessation of suffering should be known.’ Thus it has been said. In reference to what was it said?

Birth is suffering, aging is suffering, death is suffering; sorrow, lamentation, pain, disuffering, and despair are suffering; association with the unbeloved is suffering; separation from the loved is suffering; not getting what is wanted is suffering. In short, the five clinging-aggregates are suffering.

“And what is the cause of suffering? Craving is the cause of suffering.

“And what is the diversity in suffering? There is major suffering and minor, slowly fading and quickly fading. This is called the diversity in suffering.

“And what is the result of suffering? There are some cases in which a person overcome with pain, his mind exhausted, grieves, mourns, laments, beats his breast, and becomes bewildered. Or one overcome with pain, his mind exhausted, comes to search outside, 'Who knows a way or two to stop this pain?’ I tell you, monks, that suffering results either in bewilderment or in search. This is called the result of suffering.

“And what is the cessation of suffering? From the cessation of craving is the cessation of suffering; and just this noble eightfold path—right view, right resolve, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, right samādhi—is the path of practice leading to the cessation of suffering.

“Now when a disciple of the noble ones discerns suffering in this way, the cause of suffering in this way, the diversity of suffering in this way, the result of suffering in this way, the cessation of suffering in this way, and the path of practice leading to the cessation of suffering in this way, then he discerns this penetrative holy life as the cessation of suffering.

“‘Suffering should be known. The cause of suffering… The diversity in suffering… The result of suffering… The cessation of suffering… The path of practice for the cessation of suffering should be known.’ Thus it was said, and in reference to this was it said.”
最后由 Vinz Clortho 编辑于; 4 小时以前
my type fr uwu
uhh don't worry my mind is weird too
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